Saturday, 20 December 2014

'Its Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid'...of glitter...

It's Christmas, quick, grab your dust mask!

I don't know about you lot, but Christmas brings one thing to mind...glitter.
It's everywhere! You only need to look at the Christmas decorations to find a sparkle on your hand!

It starts off with the decorations. We put ours up at the beginning of December, so that we can enjoy the atmosphere to the full (....it has nothing to do with the constant moaning of the kids from the beginning of October...oh no!) even the decorations that don't have glitter...have glitter.

There is soon a gentle glinting in the daylight of errant 'glit' on every surface available. A stray 'gilt' here and there...nothing too extreme.

Then the cards arrive and it goes so wrong!

The envelopes have glitter on them, the cards inside are coated with the stuff, it's on your hands, it's on the floor, your children are wearing it on their freshly washed uniform, your boys have glitter on their black shoes...oh boy...

By the middle of December, it's on the sandwich you prepare, it's floating in your cup of tea. It's in the water as you wash your face.

It gets even worse on the last day of term for those of you with kiddies! The glitter comes home in abundance! It's on their cards, on pictures, on little self made angels, on calendars (with an odd little star flung in now and then) it's on home made cakes and on the crowns they made. Surely it can't get any worse.....

.....well....

The week leading to Christmas Day, you see the Christmas party goers dolled up, ready with the mistletoe...then you see the boys: hair gelled to perfection; eyebrows gelled to perfection(!); eyelashes combed (!!) immaculate designer jeans, jumpers and shoes; the ultimate in alpha male, ready to pounce, then you see it...the covering of glitter dust, just to the left of their brow.

They couldn't escape it! It gets EVERYONE!

Writing out Christmas cards the other day, I took a badly timed sigh and thought I was choking to death! A plume of glitter flew into my inhalation and oomph into my lungs it went! After a spluttering cough and copious amounts of wine, I recovered. Thankfully (although I'm sure the glitter will be taking up residence on my insides until my dying day).

Next year I'm thinking of just throwing twenty vials of glitter around my home at the beginning of December and not opening a single card, so I'm done with. Then after a month of vacuuming, it should be all gone by Christmas Day!

So, take heed, always pop to B&Q and get a dust mask in time for December, and please, those weight lifters and bouncers out there, avoid Christmas as much as a possible, glittery cheeks ain't a good look!

(PS I know for a fact that those of you who do send me a Christmas card are now going to look for the glitteriest card you can find for me next year! I do love you all for that! :-))

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